Really, I am a person

I understand that my family is going through a ton of emotional crap right now. Really, I do. BUT when I have offered two couches for my brother SINCE OCTOBER, and no one has come to get them....well, I assume it is not a high priority. So, when my mother calls me today to see if it is a "good day" to come and get them, well, I feel like I can tell her No - it's really not a good day for that. You see, I have been awake since yesterday, Ian (the three year old cousin) drank 1/3 of a bottle of Robitussin this morning (Poison Control call and vomiting ensued), he is also sick and this is an awfully stressful day. Add to car is royally screwed up. I had to change two fuses SIX times yesterday and was just happy that I have heat and a spedometer (forget the radio and clock that are out of order). This bodes for a much more major electrical problem which I really don't want to pay for. It's a piece of crap car, anyway. I am also stressed about my terminally ill brother, my father coming into town this week, changes in our routine as Sara starts her first week of work and, did I mention, LACK OF SLEEP??

So, I tell my mother that now is not a good time. Her response - Oh, they are on the way. WTF? It seems it is the ONLY day that they can come get them. Really? Since October? TODAY was the only day? Why the hell did you even call to get my opinion???? To wake me up from my 1.5 hr nap I was getting when Ian was taking his (thank God he's okay). Because your FIVE phone calls and THREE texts did indeed just that.

I called her on it. I am so pissed off that I can't see straight and it is another in a long line of just walking right over me. She told me that she was pissed off too. I couldn't help it...I told her flat out, in a very sarcastic voice, that I could see how it was such an inconveniece to HER!!!! As she sits in her home, and sends her husband and son-in-law. "It will only take ten minutes" EXCEPT that since one of the couches is still in the playroom, it leaves me and Sara to rearrange furniture when she gets home. I am sure she really wants to do that after her 2nd day of work. But then the REAL comment came out - "Why didn't you have Dave bring them up while he was here?" EXCUSE ME????? I am GIVING the couches to my the hell does that make it MY responsibility to arrange for delivery??????? I hung up.

Again, I know she is stressed and that she truly has a control freak tendency. But give me a break and open your eyes. She is not the only one dealing with things. She is retired. I am still working and dealing with two young children. Sorry, Mom. Get off your f-ing high horse. And PLEASE FINALLY REALIZE THAT I AM A PERSON TOO!
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off
purple disco

According to LJ, it's been 9 weeks since my last entry

I don't really have anything good to say today. I need to start writing again (yeah, yeah) and get some of this crap out. Please know that this is total crap, and in no way reflects anything. Just junk that needs to get out of me and this is the most convenient forum (that Anna can't read).

Today has sucked. I was awake for way too long, but for good reason, and now I am paying for it. I went to bed at 9 last night (I had been up since 2 pm Thursday) but found I was too tired to sleep. Now how's THAT for evil irony. Today I feel hung over and generally crrappy. My day, however, has been much better than others. First I find out through FB that one of Annas coaches (CC) just lost her dad. She finished her student teaching ONE day before he went in the hospital and a week or so later, died. I feel so bad for her. I have no words of wisdom, because I cannot even fathom. Even though I don't get along with my dad all the time, I can't imagine having lost him at such an early age. Sadness. Then, a very dear friend called to lament that her brother attempted to commit suicide last night. She has lost BOTH of her parents already, and he is the only direct relative. It is horrible. I tried to be supportive, but it is hard to tell her that she is going to be portayed as the bitch. When dealing with someone who is mentally ill enough to attempt suicide, you have to try and distance yourself, because you are going to get the backlash. At least, that is how its been with my brother. But he is not my only relative. She is lovely and tenderhearted and wonderful, and is going through tons of crap. And why, exactly, and I upset about my life? Urgh. I want to shake him, and I have never met him. He just needs to straighten up and be 1/2 the man that she is woman. It is not everyone else's fault. Deal with it. And have your depression treated. Heredity sucks, but we all got hit with the short stick somewhere. Recognize it. Why do men have more difficulty with this than women. In general of course, but women seem to be much more intuitive about what is going on with themselves. Anyway, off my soapbox. It just brings up a lot of feelings for me. My brother is sitting in his house...that my mom bought for him to live in....with a "back injury" from playing softball. SINCE AUGUST! Get off your ass and get a job. My mom has a solution...she is talking to him about helping him start his own business. WTF? McDonalds and WalMart are always hiring. Suck it up and get a job. Pay a bill. Be a worthwhile human being and stop leaching off our mom. She deserves better. Her tensions regarding him have greatly effected our relationship. Which pisses me off in a whole other way. And, I, the nurse, should tell him how to take care of his back. Whatever. My dad wants him to go on disability and have his back "fixed". Ummmm, disability is for people that can't have something "fixed". Maybe putting an addict on pain medicine won't work as well as he thinks. Get his back checked and see what is wrong? Definately. Hide in the sand because maybe nothing is wrong but muscle spasms and malnutrition....probably. Over it.

Dave is an ass. Nothing else to say.

I am going through a period of wondering if I have majorly screwed up myself and my child by having my cousins move in. No, not really, but the thought crosses my mind. A lot today. But not having to worry about child care is AWESOME and I really get along with her. Just getting used to a very loud three year old is tough. Not gonna lie. And the little things are bothersome. I just need to see the big picture. And she needs a job. Really needs a job. Because she gets crabby, he goes nuts and I get pissy. Not a good cycle. The winter blahs have moved in. Hopefully they will move out soon. The blahs that is.

Yesterday was fabulous, sans the sleeplessness. Mom got us girls tickets to see the Nutcracker at the Fox. So beautiful. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid. Anna was appropriately fascinated. I love the Fox and want to go back soon.

Its going to be a busy, busy week. Lots of junk, but goodness at the end. The new king sized bed gets delivered on Friday! Can't wait! I work on Friday night, though, and can't sleep again next Saturday, but hey! Saturday night will be awesome. If I can just keep that in mind.....

  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky

One year ago

I left Athens Regional one year and two days ago.  It has been a long and very rough year.  But now, I am much happier.  And stable.  I am NOT taking mega doses of antidepressants.  I am not taking anti-anxiety meds.  Yes, I have bad days and I stress at work sometimes.  BUT life is so much better.  One year ago....a little perspective, a lot of turmoil. I am so glad that I am past the year mark.  Relief.  Now, onto a new chapter of my life.  Cousins Sara and Ian (3 yr old) will be moving her in NINE days!!  A roommate, a babysitter, family.  I can't wait.  I can have adult conversation at home.  I can have someone to help me keep this place in order.  And a new three year old to play with!  Oh, and two new dogs, two new cats.  What a zoo!!  I will try to post more as I embark on this new adventure!
  • Current Mood
    busy busy

Oh my goodness!!

ANd for the second week of SECOND grade, we have:  FIFTEEN spelling words, and EIGHT vocabulary words.  This does not include the NIGHTLY homework and reading that is required.  EVERY night!!!  Argh!


Spelling: (review vowels)

Week of: August 17th Story- Julius

1. cattle 7. brittle 13. puddle

2. backpack 8. giggle 14. struggle

3. cannot 9. pillow 15. dustpan

4. pebble 10. pocket

5. kettle 11. hollow

6. mellow 12. Copper

Vocabulary Words

1. crumbs- tiny pieces of bread, cake, cracker, or cookie

2. imitation- a copy of something else

3. noise- any kind of sound

4. slurped- ate or drank in a noisy way

5. spread- to push and move apart

6. homophones- Words that sound the same but are spelled different and have different meanings

7. compound words- two words put together to make one word

8. synonyms- words that mean the same but aren’t spelled the same  

Yes, that is FIFTEEN spelling words and EIGHT vocabulary words!!!!   HELP!  Ah yes, and this does not include the nightly homework......every night!

  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky

What have I done???

I have WAY over-booked myself for the next couple of weeks!  I am not sure how...well, yeah, I do know.  They had me on a great rotating schedule for the first two months of work.  This gave me SIX days off every other week.  Now, I am working a crazy schedule, mostly broken up shifts and without the great "vacation" style days off.  So, here goes:
Wed night - work
Thurs night - work
Friday afternoon - leave for Talullah Gorge/mother-daughter campout.
Sunday - come back from camping
Monday - DAY OFF!! Work ,shop , prepare, etc etc etc - gymnastics for Anna
Tues night - work
Wed night - work
Thurs night - work
Friday night - SLUMBER PARTY!!!  For Anna's birthday (late) and the start of school

I would not have two big things planned back to back, but these are my only two Fridays off for the next five weeks.  And I had told Anna that she could have a slumber party when school started.  I would rather do this on a Friday (the kids will be worn out, won't have to worry about church SUnday), so there we are.  This is on top of the "normal" routine of school, homework, max four to five hours of sleep a day when working, YMCA stuff, gymnastics, laundry, cleaning, yard work, etc etc etc. 

See you in a few weeks!!!!!

  • Current Mood
    crazy crazy


How do you politely tell someone (that you truly looked up to) that she needs to back off?  I have a nursing school prof who has retired that wants me to "hear about her great opportunity" to make money.  Ugh.  And I loved her!!  This sucks.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed

I hope she stays away from hospitals...and doctors offices...and, well, life.

Ok - a little background. I was taking my meds test for my new job. I have been working away from the bedside for about 6 years now. I have been a RN for 10 years. This test was CRAZY!!! It is for a very small hospital...rural. I had to convert grains to mg for Goodness sake. Then, two pages of LONGHAND calculations of a heparin drip (wt, loading dose, maintenance dose...mixing med if pharmacist not available...converting to different IV bags if you don't have the right one...etc!) Oh yeah, and lets not forget the drip rates...haven't done those since nursing school - cuz they are called pumps, or if you are doing by gravity, you just kinda fiddle, right? Because if the bag of NS goes in over 8 or 9 hours...not that big of a difference. Anyway, I went to ask_any_question community. The question I had was what the max amt of med to give per IM and per subq injection. I had a pretty good idea, but was getting conflicting answers when I tried to confirm (eg - 2 or 3 ml max for IM, 0.5 vs 1 ml for subq). I am not dumb...hell, I got a 4.0 in nursing school (yeah, I am a nerd). Back to my point...I got a response from this girl that was SO accusatory! Something along the lines of "Is this a part of your job? Because if so, you should KNOW this"

My response:
> Yes, my new job will require me to give injections. But, after 10 years out of nursing school, and returning to bedside nursing after being a specialized nurse after about 6 years...some of the memorized details escape me. And, believe it or not, in the grand scope of nursing...the difference between 2 and 3 ml is small. Not to mention the fact that I got several different answers from different people. So, I guess whatever facility you go to, you may get a different injection. (Not to mention that some is medication dependant, so it wasn't the best question for a test, anyway.).

Her response back:
I still wouldn't trust a nurse who took her work exam by asking strangers for their answers.

I really hope she doesn't have to go into the hospital for anything. And I hope she is a VERY healthy person!! Because I don't know about you, but I DON't KNOW everything. Yep, I still have to look some things up. Sorry, no perfection here. Not to the hell is she going to know how someone passed a test? I guess she can ask before she lets her nurse treat her for excrutiating pain, a surgery, or while she is puking her guts up from food poisoning. Could happen...
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed